Five Myths About RelationshipsThere are several relationship myths that cause great confusion not only for women but also for men. Today I am going to focus on some of the major myths.
1. Relationships are hard work: The biggest myth of all. Relationships are actually easy. It is not hard to please someone who communicates their needs and wants. Relationships are only difficult when there is a lack of communication. If two people can communicate their wants and needs then it should be easy for a relationship to continue without the "hard work" that communication-less relationships require. In communicating, I don’t mean yelling and screaming at each other. I mean sit down let’s talk, before we got to sleep pillow talk, text me until I have to get on an unlimited plan talk, or email me at one of the thousand email addresses I have type talk. Open up, share with your spouse. There goes the “hard work.” Communication is like drawing a blueprint.
2. You are the only person your spouse is going to be attracted too: Get it out your head that your spouse is not going to want anyone else or be attracted to anyone else. The world is huge and there has to be at least one other person that your spouse is going to find attractive, interesting, and/or sexually appealing. This does not mean that your spouse does not love you or not find you attractive.
3. There is a such thing as love: There is no such thing as love in a way. Love is a taught. What is a relationship is learned. Your definition of love and what is a true romantic relationship and the definition of love and relationship that your spouse may have will be different. Reason behind this is that the influences that teach us the definitions behind feelings are different for everyone living. Influences include family, friends, strangers, the media, and societal views. No two people will have the same definition for love and relationship. This discrepancy in defining love and relationships leads to conflicts within a relationship. In order to minimize the possible conflicts within a relationship, most people adopt the accepted societal views and beliefs of what is love and relationships. Though two people may have different definitions, it is also possible for two people to come to an understanding through communication, creating their own guidelines to love and relationship.
4. He doesn’t love you if he cheats: There are several different types of cheating. The most socially unacceptable one is physical cheating. Another lesser form of cheating is emotional cheating. What is cheating and the importance of not cheating is different from relationship to relationship. Much like the word “love” the word “cheating” is defined differently in every relationship. The guidelines to what is cheating within a relationship are typically decided early in the development of a relationship. For this post, I will only be concentrating on the myth that if he physically cheats then he doesn’t love you.
Your body craves four things. Air, water, food, sex. Later I will describe how your lifespan is based on achieving these four things throughout your life. In short without satisfying these four urges your lifespan decreases. That’s another post though. Even though you may be in a relationship, doesn’t mean that the basic sexual urges that one experiences, which still includes the natural selection process, stops. Meaning, the urges never stop to procreate. Sex is an essential part of life, a separation is needed to understand that fulfilling the urge to physically cheat is psychological also and not based off feelings one may or may not have. Read the Man Reason Fulfillment: The Art of Cheating, to get a better understanding to what I am referring to in cheating fulfillment.
5. You’ll know when your relationship is over: Your relationship may have ended and you'll have no clue. Not all relationships end with a break up. Most people are in a relationship that has ended already. The definition of a relationship that is over is a relationship when one or both parties has stopped attempting to fill the other’s wants and needs, when one or both parties stop learning about the other, and/or when one or both parties stops in the pursuit of improving the relationship. Even though I said earlier that there isn’t a thing called love, when the love stops, so does the relationship. A relationship should be treated like a living organism. It has a life, it will grow, and it will change. It is important for both parties to know as they change so will their relationship. In the beginning what was important to one, may not be important years, days, hours, minutes, or seconds later. Today your spouse may like their eggs sunny side up. Tomorrow they may like their eggs scrambled. That is a relationship. It is going to change. Either you change with it or accept when your relationship has ended. Chances are though; most people will not recognize that their relationship is over.
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